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[November 20, 2009] |
something weird: mtv in ecuador actually plays music.....
there's a lil movie from summer 2009. <3
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[November 20, 2009] |
"heyo... today we r gonna meet at my house at 630, bring the DVD, pijamas n vodka.. oh n come ready to go t th party.."
LOL eddie. <3 gotta love his half american self.
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[November 20, 2009] |
prelude:
really this is no cry out for comments telling me i am "fine" or "beautiful". really i just want to tell you about this, okay. i think about this just like i think about anything else. it's facts.
story:
it's very normal here for people to tell you that you are "fat". you can only take it half seriously here on my standards because they call girls who are a LITTLE bit more than skinny (like, a liiitle chubby)... FAT. really. apparently within the family or a boyfriend to a girlfriend is "acceptable", and when people you don't really know start telling you, i guess it crosses the lines of respect a little, but not really. people are CONSTANTLY grabbing my stomach, poking my sides, etc. they ask me if i am still going to the gym. (which i'm not, for no reason other than i have friends now and better things to do during my ONE chance as a foreign exchange student... i'm having fun and not working out for 1.5 hours every night like i was doing before.)
the other day, talor's host dad made me so upset. i got out of the car and i said, "hi, good afternoon! how are you?" and he said "good! you're fat! are you doing exercises!?" and grabbed my side... really? the first thing you say to me. and this was IN FRONT of eddie, one of my best guy friends. it was just like, what do i say to you? i said, "haha, yeahhh. i know. thanks." it's just a really gross thing. what if i responded with something that i thought was something he should know... hmmm.
i know different cultures have different customs. but this? really? NO ONE enjoys it. the girls ALL take it to heart, so it's not like anyone can tell me to just "brush it off like the people here do". if you think there is pressure in the USA, no. there is nothing in the US compared to here. you cannot by larger clothes in the stores here, you just can't. you can barely find anything over a 9 in jeans. it's such a patriarchal society... male dominated. women should look good for the men. and it just hurts them so much. they're so skinny. they wear these corset things. they get dirt cheap plastic surgery. (i know manyy 16 & 17 year old girls with nose jobs.) they have competitions for "queens" and "princesses" of nearly everything. to be the prettiest and skinniest. it's overwhelming.
OH! and same thing with if you have pimples as well! they looooove to point them out and ask you what happened and tell you that you have them.... which talor and i deff do right now and we NEVER really had before to speak of in the USA. it's just different water, food, air, HEAT, and EVERYTHING... so yah that sucks.
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[November 20, 2009] |
"lalalala if you wanna go and get high with me, smoke a ....in the back of the benziee ;) oh wait i do not smoke u_u, that song always makes me remember of you with %100% alcohol ;p ajajaja."
oh my ecua friends. <3
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[November 19, 2009] |
i am a happy baby girl. these are from the other night we just popped the hatch and had a techno dance party in the middle of town at 9:30 pm on a monday?
( lil video as well. )
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[November 18, 2009] |
i'm so sleepy but i feel like i can't lay down. my brain, man. i'm turning to all sorts of horoscopes like they're going to solve this problem. i'm freezing with the fan blowing on me but i won't turn it off. juan pablo IMed me and we're talking. somehow i asked him what he is scared of.. he asked me why i asked that question and i really don't know why. curiosidad. we didn't get very far. he said he's afraid to die before he has time to do all the things he wants to do. yeah, yeah, yeah. what bologna.
i will literally die tomorrow from being so fucking tired i think. bitches in my church.
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[November 16, 2009] |
i am very very tired and from about 7 pm until now i have been quite homesick for the first time extensively in a while. i want fall, i want to feel cold in blankets, i want to blare music, i want to drive fast, i want to see stars, i want to wear boots. i want to bake brownies and cook something. i want to make popcorn. i want to run around like freaks with my sister until my dad flips shit and makes us chill out. i want to squeeze my fat little cat so hard so that he hisses at me and makes me put him down. (bastard) lake ontario. eggplant parmesan. unlimited texting. real ice cream. piano. writing my dad notes near the coffee maker. my secret stream. disney movies. walking barefoot. walking in general. sunshine.
i have these intense moments where i think about living here someday. falling in love and living here. i think about all the things that you learn and feel when you're not an american. i feel so ignorant sometimes. the people here, the most 'uneducated' of people here, know so much more about the world it seems than anyone i've met. society is such a joke. i really just can't take anything seriously lately. but really i just need a way to go home for a weekend... amongst nearly everything else, one huge difference between college and where i am is that i cannot go home for the weekend.
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[November 15, 2009] |
that picture is old, from a month ago when i was with gustavo at the baile de gala/prom... but i just found it on someone's facebook and i like it. and seeing as how i just spent the entire weekend dancing with gustavo, i figured its appropriate to show you the object of realistic/existing affection. <3
also, starting with mathilde from france, the next boy is juan diego who sings taking back sunday with me and loves flight of the conchords! BAH I LOOVEE HIM. he is the sweetest ever, then next we have diego who just took me to see michael jackson in the movies on friday- such a great kid, and then freddy i think but idk him very well.
just 7 more months until i come back to reality.
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[November 15, 2009] |
chuuutaaa, i just remembered i'm going to peru tomorrow.
other than that i love my life/my life is fucked.
mua! <3
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[November 10, 2009] |
i don't know what that's supposed to mean, i just know it's true.
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[November 10, 2009] |
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i got 72 problems and a bug bites are all of them.
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[November 08, 2009] |
i like that so much. this weekend was ridiculous and amazing. somehow a cinnamon clove found its way to me last night while i was very much so buzzing at a party with great people. this country, these people, this love, this society, everything... there are so many good things here. in the US i have this protection and government and rights and stupid shit im supposed to care about... here i have LOVE from everyone anywhere i go in the strangest way. you cannot understand this. i love the US, i do. i appreciate it. but i hate it. i hate hate it. i watched v for vendetta yesterday. all i feel like is nothing matters but your heart. its amazing the love you find in the places that are supposed to be so unfortunate. but really, its just like i figured... when you have nothing else, all youve got is your heart. this doesnt make sense and im so fried. goodnight.
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[November 07, 2009] |
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tomorrow i hope to explain more and post the pictures... BUT I JUST HAD THE BEST BIRTHDAY PARTY I HAVE EVER HAD WITH THE COOLEST FRIENDS HERE. i lovee life. <3
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[November 04, 2009] |
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my head of hair looks quite funky. i'm almost 18. i'm waiting for juan pablo to call me and say happy birthday. im also waiting because my mom is trying to send me a really long movie that she and adam and danielle made for me... i cant wait. i hope tomorrow is cool. meow. i should sleep.
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[November 04, 2009] |
so i am sitting in my bathroom with red hair dye spewed all about my head... i dont know what i just did but in about 25 minutes and a shower we will find out. in the meantime;
i just got home from a fucking ridiculous weekend in cuenca. i went to a rave called "trippy trippy" and yes what you picture in your head is what it really was. i have a bruised lip. i stayed in someone's penthouse overlooking the whole city. i want to tell you all about it but i just dont know where to start. maybe next entry ill post some of my real journal notes.
i might write a novel for november... or just work on making my journal into a novel. cant decide.
i have one more day left to live as a 17 year old girl. i should do something.
my ukulele is waiting for me in the post office.
okay, new entry.
EDIT: lol at the text i just got.
"me llamo marcelo. te conoci en el tripy tripy. soy de guayaquil. acuérdate que bailaste conmigo! remember i told you i practiced motocross"
oh god.
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[November 03, 2009] |
so adam just told me these things and they rock:
"this is weird but when you imed me i got the fast heart christmas morning feeling because i miss you so much and havent talked to you in so long"
"richard is around me alot and i say "we got her" alot
and now he says "we got her" but it sounds like "E gutter"
germans rock"
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[October 29, 2009] |
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so talor has this book called "dirty spanish" and we bring it to english class everyday. no one ever does anything in this class, so we just sit with our boys and make them say things in english and we say things in spanish and its so funny. i need to bring a camera... anyway! i wish i had one today because the teacher came over and took the book from miguel's hands.... she was just reading it and trying to say the sentences in english. (she sucks so bad at english) so talor is already just dying laughing because its her book and thats awkward.. then the teacher is trying to say "im gonna spread your cheeks and make your asshole look like the holland tunnel," but she can't pronounce "asshole" (or anything LOL) and she keeps saying "ash hole" and shes like, "kelsey, what is this word? no really, what is it!?" and i am crying laughing.. "REALLY, tell me please. what does this mean?" oh my god i love english class. <3
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